Ahhhh LosCons. A weekend of
high-intensity competition and low-quantity sleep. The skill level of our
erstwhile "clan" has been on a steady, steep increase since the old
DOOM2 days. Kills are acheived just as frequently but we really have to work on
them. Today's ops called for a 3v3 on the venerable 2fort5 battlefield. Team
Red was Los(random class), Nat(Engineer) and Magic(Demoman) pitted against
Doktor Chud (Demoman), Boresite(Heavy Weapons) and myself, WeaselBoy(Scout)on
Team Blue. If I had to put money on one team over the other, I would have to go
with Red. Los is acknowledged as the toughest of us all. Magic and Nat have
caused me all manner of grief in our battles. Definitely a rough day was ahead
of us Blue Meanies.
We got to our respective bunkers and I started my briefing for Team
Blue. Pointing at the whiteboard diagram, "OK Settle down... You all know
this map and all the maps like it. You have played them over and over but we
are running through the briefing anyway. THIS is the ramp room. THESE are the
Stairs. Keep these two straight when you call out enemy positions. THIS is the
elevator. YES, I know this is common sense but in the middle of a battle, you
WILL forget and you WILL confuse your teammates if you mix them up. I have seen
it happen. Just trust me." I continue with the briefing, pointing out the
key points of the battleground. "OK guys, let's mount up. We are using
Voice-Activated mikes today so we wont have to bother with manual radio
settings. Keep the information flowing at all times. Remember your training
and you WILL return home alive!"
We scurry around the bunker picking up our supplies. As I am on scout
detail, I keep it light. From my locker I grab my reinforced leather jacket and
my trusty nailgun. Craftsman(tm), of course. Sears really made a mistake by
selling me this with their Lifetime Warranty. They make up for the replacements
with all the additional ammo, errr Home Improvement Nails I buy. I check the
pressure in the freon tank and strap it to its titanium packframe. From the
bowels of my locker I pull up a bandolier of "happy grenades," an even
mix of concussion and flash. I love these things. It is so much better to
irritate your opponent rather than kill him. I fill my shirt pockets with an
even mix of StarBursts and Tootsie Rolls(mini) from a jar on my top shelf. A
brief weapons check and a test burst of nails shows the freon is flowing
correctly to the nailgun. I tape the monitor for my motion detector to the top
of my nailgun. Never use the sights anyway. Either I am at 10ft range or I am
spraying the area. The life of a scout is like that...
I glance over at my teammates outfitting themselves. They have a
staggering array of heavy armor and MIRV grenades. Boresite is checking the
balance on a monstrous piece of deforestation machinery he calls a chain gun.
He is tweaking the ammo feed and checking the battery levels as Doktor Chud is
giving his clip-fed 40mm grenade launcher a runthrough. I make a mental note to
give him his training on DetPack usage. He hasn't used them yet in combat and
it's high time he learned. My team tests the commo gear and we head out. It is
GO TIME...
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